Battle Scar--this next post is not for the squeamish!

Here is my poor Scottie's face, marred by surgery. The cancer was a lot bigger than I thought, much bigger than the mole on the outside of his face. Poor baby! When they let me back to see him, he was pale white and his cheek was still pulsating from the trauma. His blood was all rushing to fix the problem. I almost fainted three times looking at him. Poor baby! The doctor is confident that he got out all of the cancer. Now all that remains is to biopsy the lymph nod they removed (that is the lower straight line on his neck) and hopefully that will come back negative for cancer and all will be well! We appreciate all your kind thoughts, fasting and prayers. We love you all and have felt your strength and love through this!

Happy (early) Birthday Ben!

We celebrated Ben's birthday today because Scott is going into an outpatient surgery on Tuesday to have a cancerous mole removed from his cheek. We appreciate all prayers in his behalf on Tuesday. As a result, we decided to celebrate Ben's birthday a couple of days early. He requested a "giant cookie cake". So I made a pan full of blondies, which were delish! I've never tried them before but I have now fallen in love. They are basically giant caramel squares with chocolate chips in them. How could you go wrong? Delightful. Anyway, back to the birthday fun~
He got a present from his sister Julia which was an interesting assortment of all the odds and ends she could find in her room that she didn't want anymore. Included items were: a blue lego, a cheap notebook, a new pencil, an old pencil, several pieces of her Halloween candy that she didn't want, a plastic horse toy, a used eraser...You get the picture. I guess it's the thought that counts?
Here's his new flannel blankie.
And taking a page out of the wisdom of the book of my parents we purchased Ben his very own basketball hoop like they did for Ryan when Julia was born. That was the best $20 dollars they ever spent on anything, Ryan got so much use out of it and loved it SO much, and we're already on that path for Ben. We spent a little more than $20, but he loves it and has spent all evening shooting hoops. Even the older kids spent a good hour playing hoops with him. The legacy lives on!

Halloween costumes

Ryan, as Harry Potter. Probably the coolest part of his costume was the lighting shaped scar I drew on with some of my eyeshadow. In every other way he was shafted. He wore his Sunday pants and shirt, we safety pinned a yard of black fabric around him for a cloak, sadly his glasses were already taped because he lost a screw, he already had the appropriate hair, and I handed him a chopstick for a wand. Poor guy, but he got plenty of candy and didn't seem to feel bothered by the inadequateness of his costume.
I sewed this pioneer, dress, bonnet and apron for Julie. She loved it and also came home with a lot of candy.
I sewed this poodle skirt for Emmy.
Ben decided that he wanted to be the well-loved and falling apart Jaguar costume that my mom sewed for my brother Derek MANY moons ago. He looked super cute in it, but as you can see it barely fit him. He is a rather large boy. My dad always says to Ben when he's here visiting, "How do you get so big eating food of this kind?" It is a valid question, he doesn't eat very well at all and yet he is gianormous!

Halloween costumes take 2

Hadley as Marie Antoinette. I tried to teach her to say, "Let them eat cake." But it didn't happen. When she is misbehaving I have taken to calling her Hadley Jean Marie Antoinette Chrysanthemum ...adding appropriate names for as long as I can go on. It helps me calm down a bit before I take care of business. She is a lot like that infamous queen of France. She's quite sure that her way is the only acceptable solution to every problem.
All the kids together.

Random cuteness

Hadley has taken quite a fancy to the new disney movie "Bolt". She wants to watch it all day long. I caught her looking extra cute while watching her new favorite.
I also snagged a photo of the four youngest playing together like super cuties in the hallway.
Hadley and Ben wrestling on the couch.
I caught Haddie and Emma reading together on the stairs. Super duper cuteness!

The weirdest bug I have ever seen

Funniness

Things are pretty busy at our house, like I'm sure they are at all of your houses too. It's that time of year, busy, busy, busy. I now have 21 piano students and am caring for a 2 month old baby from 8 to 3. We are trying desperately not to get sick (especially with that tiny baby around I would feel SO guilty if she got sick), to keep on top of homework for three full-time elementary students, to keep our house at least somewhat clean and to try to have some enjoyable time as a family. There seems to be time for very little else. And if any of you know how to get that disgusting urine smell out of mattresses please fill me in, I'm dying over here!

Day 9

This is probably the last gratitude post that I will put up on my blog. I plan to write it in Word Perfect from now on, but I really appreciate the comments. It's great to have friends that love me.
Today I am grateful for our ability to choose what our attitude will be.
I'm still trying to convince my kids that if you think you're going to have a bad day, you will. And if you think you're going to have a good day, you will. They still aren't buying it. Even though I fully accept the logic behind that, and know it to be true, I have good and bad days at deciding to be positive, cheerful and upbeat.
It's so uplifting to be around someone who sees the world and everything in it as basically good. And it's so hard to be around someone who is pessimistic all the time. I tend to lean toward the latter, and so I have been striving this week to correct that. It's amazing how powerful our minds and our thoughts are. It may sound a bit like brainwashing myself, but I've been getting up and telling myself, "Today is going to be a great day. I'm happy to be alive. I am truly blessed. My kids are the most amazing people I know and I'm lucky to be their mother." It sounds a little bit silly, but my days are better days, and I am happier, calmer and more at peace.
So, today I am grateful for a positive attitude.

Day 8

Some of you know that for a couple of weeks now I have had the opportunity to watch my back-door neighbor's seven week old baby. It has been nothing if not a challenge. It always amazes me how one forgets so quickly what it is like to have a new baby in the house. Babies are SO demanding of time, attention, emotional support, and you are just always holding them. My muscles are very sore. She didn't come today because her mommy was able to take a paperwork day at home and so today I am grateful for...

quiet.

With the baby not here it was amazingly quiet. And she's a very good little baby. Crying is just their only means of communication. So today it was just Hadley and Benjamin and me, and boy was it quiet today. I loved having a clear head to have actual connected thoughts. I loved the opportunity to listen to the still small voice. In some ways, quiet can be much more soothing and beautiful than the most wonderful music. Quiet is restful and secure. I loved my quiet day and I am thankful that there is such a thing as quiet.

Day 7

I have to say today, that I married extremely well, and I am grateful for my sweet husband every single day. I guess that it is circumstances that have moved him to the forefront of my mind. For the last several years Scott has had this funky mole on his face. I've told him several times I thought that he should go and have it checked out. Of course, my suggestion was "silly". It wasn't until his recent trip to California when all of his brothers asked what that thing on his face was, that he agreed with me. He went in today to have it checked out. The nurse practitioner could not tell. She ended up doing a biopsy and we will have the results next week.
Hopefully, it's nothing major, but I can't help but think how my life would be SO different, and SO bleak without him. He is one of my greatest blessings, my biggest fan, my lifetime love, my best friend.
I knew after our first date, which he was 2 1/2 hours late to, that he was the one. When I am around him I want to be the best person I can be. Thanks honey for all you do for me and our family!

Day 6

Today I am slightly begrudgingly thankful for my weaknesses. It all goes back to that necessary condition of opposition. We have to have weaknesses so that we can appreciate and know how to better use our strengths.
One of my most glaringly obvious weaknesses is my lack of cuteness. It always somehow seems like a waste of my time to take the time to look cute. To do my hair, put on my makeup, take extra care with the clothes I choose to wear. I just don't do it. I think I don't care until I get out in public and then I always feel embarrassed.
Now I'm not saying that it should be more important than anything else to look cute. But I think like all things in life we need to find a balance. There's something to be said for taking a little bit of time to put your best foot forward and go out into the world with that little extra confidence, that little bit of zip into your step.
What am I going to do? I feel like I've made some incremental improvements. It has certainly been a life-long struggle. And if nothing else it has definitely kept me humble to have spent a lifetime struggling without much improvement.
Oh, well, "tomorrow is another day." (Please imagine your best Scarlett O'Hara impression as you read the preceeding line.)

Day 5

Today I am grateful when the Lord answers my small insignificant prayers. They almost mean more to me than when He answers the big ones. I was sitting, thinking about getting dinner made before we had to be over to the school at 6:30 for Ryan's 4th grade music program. I just was out of ideas, out of desire, thinking maybe I'll just give everyone a piece of bread and a glass of water, praying that someone would just bring me dinner. My sweet friend Caroline (who very rarely cooks because she's SO busy) called me and said she had made chicken enchiladas and she's bringing some over! Wa-hoo!

playing at the park

This time of year is the best time of year to play at the park when you live in Texas. I didn't have any piano lessons yesterday, so we took advantage of the "free time" and headed to the park to play a little ball.

Days 3 and 4

Yesterday was so hectic I forgot to post. So I'll do two things to make up for my oversight.
I am grateful for the spirit. Sundays are sometimes challenging. It would be awesome if we could just go to church and be told everything we need to do the next week. I know that's not the Lord's way. So He provided the Holy Ghost for us so that even when teachers are less than perfect or speakers ramble on (not you Cam, your talk rocked) the spirit can still instruct us.


I'm also grateful for music. During the Relief Society General Broadcast the song that we all stood and sang together was How Firm a Foundation. As we stood and sang that song together, as sisters all over the world, I felt the spirit SO strongly. I love how music is a conduit for the spirit. How it can express more perfectly our feelings and thoughts than words. I love to sit at the piano and pour my heart out in music when I'm having a hard day. I LOVE MUSIC!

Day #2

I am grateful for my parents everyday, but today I am especially grateful. I would be a totally different person without them. They put every ounce of effort and know how into being good parents. They taught me how to love, how to work, how to hope, how to endure, how to have faith, how to fail and how to succeed. I am grateful for their love, and for the unending confidence they have in me.
Thanks mom and dad, for giving this baby girl everything she needed to have a fighting chance at a successful life!

A study in gratitude

Okay. I have now read my scriptures (or read a conference talk) every day for three consecutive months. It has certainly made an enormous difference in my life. I'm ready to add something to my scripture study. I have been thinking a lot about gratitude, and acknowledging the hand of the Lord in my life every day. I have felt the spirit whisper to me many times over the last several weeks that gratitude needs to be my new focus.
My goal is to do a blog entry everyday for as long as I can about something new I am grateful for. So, here goes nothing.
Today I am grateful for the everyday drudgery of life. If we didn't struggle, we would not be able to fully understand and appreciate those brilliant days that appear every so often in our lives. I'm grateful to do the dishes over and over, because I learn how to endure and press forward even when I'd rather do anything else than dishes AGAIN!

We're ba-ack!

Yay! I have some pictures to share with everyone. Scott was in California for a week and got back Saturday afternoon. We were all SO excited to see him and have him back! All the other photos are just my little "posers" posing for me while I tried out my new camera!

New Camera!

Thanks to my friend Sarah, I didn't even have to do much research. I decided to get a Canon A1000. The problem was, I couldn't find one in stores, so I ordered it online. I got a great deal on a refurbished camera. Hopefully, it will work beautifully and get here soon! Thanks again!

Anonymous kindness

I went out to get the mail today and a letter immediately caught my attention. It was crisply and starkly white. My name and address were written perfectly in all caps, the lowercase letters smaller that the uppercase. There was nothing else on the envelope except a stamp, and a postmark which showed it had been mailed from Provo, UT. I opened up the letter to find inside a $100 money order and a black die-cut of a camera neatly folded into a blank piece of white printer paper.
Now, you have to keep in mind that I have a huge, red, swollen bug bite on my arm, and I had just taken some Benadryl to see if it would help with the allergic reaction. My head was not working correctly. I freaked out! My first reaction was that this was some kind of scam and when I cashed the check I would have somehow signed myself up for a loan or something. I called my sister Angie who instantly said, "Who do you know in Provo that reads your blog? You did post about your camera dying. Someone sent you the money to buy yourself a new one!" She has always been brilliant--that Angela sister of mine.
So to you, dear reader who was so loving and thoughtful and kind to take the time and money to do something so thoughtful and wonderful, I want you to know how much it meant to me. My heart is full of gratitude. Thank you for helping me to remember that I am loved.
Today was a hectic day, and I didn't have time to go out and look. But I'll go tomorrow and see what I can find. Hopefully, before the end of the week I'll have some new pictures up!

Blogging silence

I figure even without a camera, the blogging silence can go on no longer. I thought I'd just take a minute to let everyone know what's going on. Monday will be the beginning of the 4th week of school. Ryan, Julia and Emily all seem to be doing well in their classes and with their teachers. A sweet sister in our ward decided to start a preschool for $75 a month, and so we enrolled Benjamin. He goes Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 9-12 and really seems to do well and enjoy his time at preschool. I was overjoyed thinking about all the "free time" I would have with just me and Hadley at home. Unfortunately, with Hadley there it isn't much like free time. She pulls me around everywhere saying, "Tome on," and feels like she needs my every minute attention.
I now officially have 17 piano students. 17! It's a little crazy, but I really love teaching. It's funny because before they arrive I dread it, but when we're in lessons I love it and things seem to go relatively smoothly. And I must own up to the fact that 3 of the 17 are my own children. That doesn't necessarily make it easier though, in a lot of ways it's harder to teach your own children!
Scott's still the EQP, and I'm still the 4th Sunday teacher in RS and the 3rd Sunday organist. We are busy, but happy. I don't know what was wrong with me before, but I just barely realized that it takes every hour of every day just to get the basics of day to day living done for our family. There really isn't a lot of extra time. I feel guilty, like I should be doing SO much more than I am, but in the quiet moments I realize that I am doing the most important thing that I will ever do, I'm being a mom to my kids and trying each day to be present and to love my job.