Wednesday, August 19, 2009

SO ready!

I am SO ready for school to start. My house is a crapped out mess and my kids and I are sick, Sick, SICK of each other. Monday cannot come soon enough.

Friday, August 07, 2009

The Power of the Word

Many of you know that I have been struggling over the past year or so. I have felt very sad, very distraught, at times even despairing. We live in perilous times. Our day is the day spoken of by ancient and modern prophets alike. Many are lost, wandering in mists of darkness. Many are purposely seeking out that great and spacious building Nephi described in his vision of the tree of life.
I have often found myself wondering what I should do and feeling like there was nothing I could do. I remember one Sunday in January while I was sitting in sacrament meeting having the thought, "read your scriptures," very clearly enter my mind. I was relieved, ready to try anything. I spent the next week reading daily, and then something happened and I got out of the habit before it could even become a habit. I guess I just didn't have enough information to convince me of the great importance of reading the scriptures daily.
Over the next six months I often felt the spirit whisper again to me, "read your scriptures." I justified my excuses: I'm too busy, I'm too tired, I have too many little children, now is not the season of my life for reading the scriptures, I don't see how it could help all that much anyway, on and on and on.
As I was preparing last month to teach the 4th Sunday lesson out of the conference issue of the Ensign on Adversity and Be of Good Cheer, a wonderful series of events unfolded for me. I was led to the information I needed. The Ensign had been left open to a page that had an excerpt from the talk given long ago by President Ezra T. Benson called "The Power of the Word."
I strongly encourage each of you to read it. I absolutely LOVE this talk. He was speaking to the priesthood leadership of the church. So instead of the flowery often watered down talks they give in conference, this talk is no-holds barred. He just lays it out there and it was exactly what I needed to hear.
If we seek for comfort, for guidance, for understanding, for direction, for love, for help. . .those things are all to be found in the scriptures. The scriptures, especially The Book of Mormon, are the small and simple things to which Nephi referred. They are absolutely essential to our spiritual survival. If you do nothing else every day, except read the scriptures, it would have been a day well worth while.
There is a power in the scriptures which our mortal minds cannot exactly understand. When I was justifying away the direction the Holy Ghost was giving me I often thought, "how will the scriptures help me have more money?", or, "how can the scriptures keep my kids from annoying me?" It seems like it would be impossible for the scriptures to impact those things.
I have now read the scriptures, or the words of the latter-day prophets, every day for 17 days, and there has been no great miracle, but there has been many small miracles. It's not that I have magically found more money, but the spirit brings hope and acceptance to my heart. It's not that my children magically obey everything I say, but that the spirit grants me a larger measure of patience and understanding. It's not that I always feel elated, but I am content with what the Lord has seen fit to bless me. I am not magically stronger, smarter, or happier, but my capacity has been greatly enlarged by the spirit of the Lord.
The small sacrifice I give the Lord each day of taking 20 minutes to read the words He has provided for me is enough, and He blesses me by lifting me above what I could otherwise do.
I love each of you, and want you to find the same joy in the scriptures that I have just found.
I have always loved the scriptures, but have never been a consistent reader because I have never fully understood why it is necessary to do so.
I bear my testimony of the power of the word, and pray that each of you will hold tightly to the "rod of iron" that is the scriptures, so that you can guard yourself and your family from the evil that is at our doors. So the the Holy Ghost can be a constant companion, and so that he may lift you above that which you can do on your own.

Saturday, August 01, 2009

A "death" in the family

Well folks, I know it has been incredibly long since I posted. We have had a sad thing happen in our family. I think my camera has officially died, been dropped one too many times by tiny hands and well-meaning hearts. It still works, but it drains a battery in about a week. I just don't have $10 to spend every week on a camera battery. So, it looks like photos will be few and far between while I save up for a new digital camera. Wish me luck.
Everything else is going well. We have 24 days until school starts. The kids are excited, but not nearly as excited as I am. Although, I have to say that this has been the most enjoyable summer by far. I have actually enjoyed having them around and for the most part things have gone very smoothly.
I just finished sewing a dress for myself with knit fabric. I don't recommend using knit--it is extremely annoying to sew with. And sadly, the dress doesn't look very good on me. I keep blaming the clothes, but if nothing looks good on me I am led to believe that it's most likely my out of shape, post five pregnancies body. Looks like I better get a move on and start exercising. Blech!
Another fun development is that Hadley is dropping signals left and right that she is ready to potty-train. I HATE potty-training. I will definitely be glad to have all my kiddos potty-trained. But at the same time it makes me a little bit sad, it will mark the end of an era. Scott thinks I'm crazy to feel sad, but I do feel a little bit sad. I love being a mommy, and I will quietly miss having babies. I feel a lot of regret for not enjoying my babies as much as I should have, so I move forward hoping to enjoy to the fullest every minute of my kids growing up!