I ran across this picture recently, and I was stunned. I look like a little girl--a baby with a baby. Looking back I realize now how young I was. Not just young in terms of age, but young emotionally, young spiritually, young in my own identity. I can see a lot of the reasons why people in the world think it unwise to start a family at such a young age. In some ways I agree with them, but there is definitely something to be said for putting yourself off in such a dramatic way. When you are a parent, you have to sacrifice so much for the good of that baby. The more kids you have, the more you have to focus on putting the needs of others first. You better understand how Heavenly Father must feel when he looks down on us, struggling through this life. Sometimes I want SO badly to step in and take all of life's cruel consequences away from my children, but I know I cannot. I know that they must learn for themselves. I guess I'm really just kind of thinking while I blog. What I really wanted to say was. . .even though I don't act accordingly at times, I am SO grateful to be a mother. I love each of my children so deeply and even though it is often monotonous and never-ending and brain-numbing and utterly frustrating, I wouldn't give it up for anything. Scott and I were watching a minister on TV the other day, Joel Osteen. He is the most positive person I have ever seen. He loves life, he loves good, everything is good and beautiuful. Watching him I decided that is what I want to become, that is what I must become if I want to survive the times in which we live. God is good, God is gracious, my life is full of blessings of which I am not worthy. I want to strive to become worthy of all I have been given. I want to see the beauty in each new day, the miracle that is each person you meet, the blessings that pour down from Heaven.
2 comments:
Love the post! And by the way....you do look really young! I thought it was Julia with Haddie or something! I thought she looked old, but when you said it was you, I was like....no way!
Amen! I totally agree with everything you said. I kind of had the same epiphany(?) when my friend Ginger died in July. She loved life. But more than life she loved her four sweet little kids (ages 8,6,3,1) and she adored her husband. I never heard her say anything negative about anyone and she always had a smile on her face that lite up the room. Her final post on her blog was "HAPPINESS" with a picture of her oldest daughter swinging in a tree. She posted this the night she died. What a comfort to those who love her to know she was happy. http://jasondgingerd.blogspot.com/
I don't know how to make a link, but this is the address. Anyway I decided I was going to follow her example, to find the good in everything. I pray everyday that I will recognize the blessings in my life, and that I can be an instrument in the hands of the Lord. Of course, I'm only human and so obviously not perfect. But if keep trying, I feel like there is still hope.
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